TORPOR

March 8, 2010

Torpor
\’tor-per\ n 1: a state of mental and motor inactivity with partial or total insensibility 2: apathy or dullness*

My two year college graduation anniversary is approaching. I have welcomed change and have been willing to secede to circumstances of which I am not in charge; letting them mold and dictate my life. It has been very easy to remain in my present situation and to establish routine for myself, for routine is how I operate best.
However in this instance, routine can become a dangerous foe, creating a malignant torpor that will stagnate my growth as a potential professional woman. It has been profoundly effortless to grow accustomed to my present living and working conditions and while I am not happy in either, the ability to remain stuck often wins over the ability to seek other opportunities.
I have discussed the job market and unfair state of affairs with friends and family, bitched and complained, everything short of shouting out loud (ok, who am I kidding, I’ve definitely done that too), and unless I can shake the omnipresent feeling of frustration, the monotonous schedule that has become my “daily routine” will continue and hopes of eradicating the vicious cycle will cease to exist.

* letter “e” is upside down producing sound of “uh”